


Lights Out

by Kneekeyta



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-03-17
Packaged: 2018-03-18 07:25:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3561170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kneekeyta/pseuds/Kneekeyta





	1. Chapter 1

It was normal day at the pub, everyone engrossed in a conversation except for me. Me, what was I doing shitting a brick is what I was doing, I tried not to let on that thunder storms freaked me the fuck out, but I think a gave myself away every time I jumped and gasped a little at the loud clash of thunder.

no one really seemed to notice how uneasy I was, except for Finn, which is odd because I don’t think he likes me all that much, I mean we’ve barely spoken to each other.

The thunder grew louder and louder soon enough we heard the rain pour down.

We made our way along with some others patrons to the pub doors to see if we could get a look at what was happening outside and before the door was opened there was a loud bang and the lights in the pub went out.

It went dead silent for what felt like forever

It was so dark I couldn’t even see my hand in front of my face, but that also could be because someone was holding my hand.

I didn’t know who was holding my hand, maybe Archie? I was trying to remember who I was standing next to before the lights when out, but I was too frightened by the damn storm to even think about who was near me.

Whoever’s holding my hand started caressing it with their thumb making small circles, now I’m not sure if I’m shaking because of the storm or because I don’t know who the fuck is holding my hand.

But as seconds went by I felt a little more at ease.

Then I heard Chop say “lets get out of here”

But before my brain realized what was going on, my mouth shouted “I’m not fucking going into a fucking storm”

Now who ever was holding my hand squeezed it as if to give comfort and then let go

Chop said “alright, alright then let’s go sit back down”

By the time we turned away from the door the guy behind the bar was starting to light some candles, and said that “everyone’s welcome to stay and wait until the storm lightened up”

I sighed in relief after hearing that

We made our way back to the table where the conversations picked up where they left off.

I was looking around at them wondering who it could have been holding my hand..it couldn’t have been Chop he was closest to the door, not Izzy her hands are too little, definitely not Finn, so my guess it was either Archie or Chloe..Oh well nice to know they care.

———————————————

It was a week later where we at the pub and we had all had little too much to drink, especially Chole, she was making her way back from the bar to sit beside me when she sloshed half of her drink onto the floor.

That’s when Chop suggested we head to the chippy and get food to sober up a bit.

Everyone stood to leave and I was shrugging on my leather jacket I stood up and took two steps and slipped on the beer fucking Chloe spilt.

Before I knew it someone grabbed my hand helping me to not fall.

The hand in my hand felt so familiar, I couldn’t think about why at the moment, so I looked up to see who was holding my hand, it was Finn.

Finn was looking at me in way I’ve never seen before, it almost looked like he cared maybe?

..but that could just be the alcohol

Finn then cleared his throat and said “Y’alright”

And I stood there mouth agape, now realizing it was Finn who was holding my hand during the storm.

I snapped back to reality and cleared my throat

I nodded and said Thanks

He then let go of my hand, winked and made his way behind the gang on their way out of the pub.

And I was left standing there wondering why I wanted to hold his hand again and never let go.


	2. Lights Out Part 2

I thought about Finn and the hand holding situation for a long time, and I wondered why he would do it..why would he hold my hand, and why would he caress it so tenderly? Maybe he really isn’t a grumpy sod maybe he really is a nice guy.

After I came to terms with how I felt about Finn, well, maybe I should say how I felt about Finns touch and the fact that it was a feeling I had never felt before, our hands had fit together so perfectly his touch was so comforting and caring, it felt like home.

Other than the way his hand felt intertwined with mine, I don’t really know much about him..yet.

A week had passed since that day at the pub where he kept me from falling and he winked at me, nothing had changed though he was still quiet as usual throwing in an opinion every now and again, but it was just the same as it has always been. 

I had decided that I was going to figure out what all this meant, because I really didn’t know much about him so I decided today was the day I was going to start figuring who Finn…uh, who Finn…oh bloody hell I don’t even know his last name! Regardless, I’m going to figure him out.

We were all sat at our usual table and everyone chatting back and forth and I was joking with Chop stealing glances at Finn to see if he was laughing or at least acknowledging my presence, every now and then we would catch each other and share a small but awkward smile. I knew it was going to be difficult, but geeze this guy was a fucking vault.

I was sitting pondering what topic I could possibly bring up to get this boy to talk to me when I heard Finn tell Archie to put some decent music on.

That was it I thought this is my in..Music

As he slipped the 20p across the table I intercepted it and our fingers touched for the briefest second and I stuttered out “I’ll..I’ll do it” while picking up the 20p.

He was hesitant saying he wanted Archie to do it but I told him If he didn’t like what I put on I would give him his 20p back and he gave me a small smile.

So I got up strutted over to the jukebox slid the 20p in and blew Finns fucking mind

As Beastie Boys Sabotage was playing I turned around to find a chuckling Archie and a wide smiled Finn

I walked back over to the table and with the most innocent face I could muster I said “what?”

Finn was chuckling and said “didn’t know you had actual taste in music”

To this I scoffed and said “me not have taste in music! you played fucking Spaceman earlier”

Finn replied with “which was an epic choice” smiling like a fool

 

This was it, music was our connection.

For the next hour we discussed our favorite bands our dream lineup for a gig, We talked about everything and anything music related.

———————————————

Over the next few days our new found friendship began, we would talk on the phone but conversations were kept very short usually consisting of things like “come ‘round mine to listen to music” and “okay see you in a few”

Then at his house we would just sit and listen to music for hours not really talking just commenting every now and then on a song.

After the few days we had spent time with each other I began to realize that I liked Finn as much more that a friend, we had a lot in common, the only difference between us was I couldn’t shut up and he was mostly quiet. But I think he’s just the observant type and to be honest he really didn’t need to talk, I could tell what he was thinking…I wonder if he could tell I liked him..oh fuck!

As time went on we hung out more and more and he started talking to me more and I found out his last name is Nelson! So there we go I was figuring out Finn Nelson! He would tell me about how he met the gang and how he had known Archie since they were 5 and I told him about Chloe..things seemed to be looking up, but he still never mentioned the hand holding.

One day at the pub I was pretending to listen to Archie babble on about who the fuck ever when I felt someones touch my thigh, sending a jolt of fire burning intensity through my body.

I looked down and it was Finns index finger he was spelling out words

I-M B-O-R-E-D

He looked up at me and smiled and I smiled back and as steady as I could I wrote M-E T-O-O on his thigh

And he chuckled to himself and before I knew what was happening he clapped his hands together and said “Right, I’m off, gotta get the record shop before they close ”

And I thought that was that was it he’s leaving me to pretend to listen to Archie, maybe..

Then he continued with “hey Rae wanna come with, you said you needed a new needle for you record player”

And I was in a state of shock, I mumbled something to the effect of “oh ye..yeah thanks for reminding me’

When we got outside he was laughing so hard he was hunched over

And I said “Oi! what ya laughing at”

He said “I think they were on to us”

I just shook my head and laughed and said “right, so to the record shop?”

And he shook he head and said “nah, lets go for a walk”

And with that he looped his arm through mine

I could have been knocked over with a feather.

As we were walking I said “are you sure you wanna go for a walk, it looks like it might rain”

It’s not like I didn’t want to walk with him, but the damn weather is so un-fucking-predictable

Finn gave me a sly smile and said “don’t worry girl, if it starts to thunder I’ll hold your hand alright”

I stopped as we were walking into the park and turned to look at him and said as more of a direct statement rather than a question “it was you who held my hand during the storm”

Up until this point I thought for certain that it was Finn, but what if it wasn’t and I sound like a crazy person!?

The silence was palpable

He unhooked his arm from mine smiled looked down and intertwined his fingers with mine smiling and nodding yes.

“why did you do it?”

“What? Hold your hand?”

I nodded yes

He said “because I hate thunder storms too and I saw how scared you were and I was glad I wasn’t the only one” smiling

I don’t know what came over me but I just started babbling

“why didn’t you say anything”

“ I didn’t want it to be weird” he said while rubbing the back of his neck his other hand

“weird that you held my hand or weird that you don’t like thunders storms’

“erm, both”

“okay, well it’s not weird that you don’t like thunder storms, but why weird if you held my hand”

He didn’t say anything for a minute he just held my hand and was looking at the ground

Then he said “well…I thought it would be weird because I didn’t know you, well, at all a few weeks ago so why would I be holding your hand” “I.. erm.. didn’t want you to think I was WIERD or like overstepping my bounds”

I just looked at him with a small smile and said “Finn, I don’t think it would have been weird, and it wasn’t weird, it was nice to know someone noticed how I was feeling” “and its relief to know now that I’m not the only one scared of something as stupid as a thunder storm” I awkwardly laughed out.

Finn was silent for a moment and we began to walk with our hands intertwined

He then said “ I thought for sure you were going to say something to me about it the other week at the pub, I…”

I cut him off and said “Finn, why would I say something, I didn’t even know it was you until today.”

Lies all lies I knew it was him

He said shyly “I know that you know it was me, I could tell by the look on your face that day you slipped and I grabbed your hand to keep you from falling”

I smiled shyly and shakily got out “Finn, I didn’t KNOW it was you, but I felt it was you do you know what I mean?” then I shook my head “I’m saying it wrong..look when you grabbed my hand to help me I didn’t know it was YOU helping me until I looked up, but what I felt was the same thing I felt during the storm” “do you get it”

He smiled shaking his head and said “so you felt it to then, eh?”

I said “I definitely felt it” awkwardly laughing

We came up and sat on a park bench and I looked down and we were still holding hands

So I said “Finn”

“yeah”

“why are we still holding hands”

“I…erm…kind of don’t want to let go..but if you..”

I cut him off squeezed his hand and said “good me either” and smiled

And that was that after that day we hardly ever stopped holding hands


End file.
